Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
