I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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