I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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