YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
