i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize