No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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