yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
