She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
