I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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