So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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