I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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