I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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