The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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