Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
