and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
