he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
