how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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