She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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