Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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