There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
