dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize