cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
