HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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