You can't special order awesome
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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