I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
