why didn't you poke me back
My sheets look like a crime scene.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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