i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
