He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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