I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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