After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
