stop calling my apartment porn island.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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