If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
