And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize