Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
