How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
