I think I am morally bankrupt
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
