So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
