i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
