also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
