Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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