I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
