he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
