i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
