I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
