My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
