there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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