You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We left the knife in your bed.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
