She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
