I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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