a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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