I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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