nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize