I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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