There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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