Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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