If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
