I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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