shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize