Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
