But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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