Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
