tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
