yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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