Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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