I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And my parents said I crawled through the house
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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