he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
