Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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