I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
