A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
