My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
