Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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