I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
