sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
