I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
