you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
