Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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