you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
don't judge my taste in strippers
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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