Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
