So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
