i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
third nipple confirmed
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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