I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize