i was rollin on her like bob the builder
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
