Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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